Humbled

Last night I was having one of those moments of panic and "why me" when I decided to check my emails. The nights are the hardest for me because my days are full enough to not allow me to think about myself. I believe the Lord speaks to us when we are still and ready to accept him and this time for me is in the middle of the night when the rest of the family is asleep.

One thing people don't usually know about me, is that I cover all of my emotions up with humor. I don't know why but I developed this coping skill at a very early age. The more stressed out and out of control I am, the funnier I seem to get. It's not always accepted with open arms. At least when it comes to a time where funny isn't appropriate.  It's my Mother's fault for giving me the middle name Inappropriate ;) I've just never liked being around people who are always down and negative. But, at the same time, those closest to me, which would include a total of 4 people, know that I am extremely sensitive and emotional and sometimes a total basket case.

To say I'm not nervous or scared about my upcoming surgery is a lie. I've had 3 months of worry, anxiety, and tears over this and maybe I'm finally at acceptance. I don't know for sure. Last night, I was having one of those worry nights. Too much time spent on Google I guess. Then I decided to check my emails. In there was an email from a friend and the VP of International Child Ministries at Mission of Mercy who is currently visiting the projects in Mozambique. In it, he told me that right this second, there are 300 precious Mozi children, lifting their voices to the Lord and praying for me. He sent me this picture

This is a picture of the Adult service as they were praying for me this morning.

All of the sudden, I stopped. Who am I that these precious babies would be praying for me? These same little African children who I pray for everyday and even though I've never met them, I've looked into a lot of their precious faces and read their stories and they are lifting MY sickness up to the Lord. If that doesn't knock you off your feet, I don't know what will! I don't think I've cried this hard in a long time. The children in Africa hold a special place in my heart and always have. (if you've seen my living room you already know this) I've said a thousand times if I ever went there for a mission trip, I wouldn't come home. Thank you Mission of Mercy, Jack Eans, Mitch &  Char Hilderbrant for loving me and making me feel that love from across the world! And for doing what you are doing! I cup runeth over!

I am so humbled over the outpouring of love and prayers, literally from around the world. I guess I better start doing something good with my life to make it all worthwhile!

I believe God listens a little harder to the hearts and cries of children. And I know I am covered by the blood. While the children in the MOM project in Maputo Mozambique were praying for my surgery and healing, they started singing this song and Jack sent me the video. See if you recognize the song :)