Once again I find myself unable to talk and when I try to even whisper it hurts like someone is punching me in the neck. My neck is so swollen that I look like Sylvester the Cat when he swallowed Tweety Bird and Tweety got stuck in his throat. Yes, as a matter of fact, I compare everything in life to a cartoon or TV episode. I have my biopsy scheduled for Wednesday morning. I know that statistically, 50% of adults have nodules on their thyroid and 0.5% of those nodules are malignant but there is no way to find out other than a biopsy. At first I was terrified about this but I honestly want to just find out what is wrong. So what if it hurts. It can't hurt worse than getting a tattoo and at least I get a local for this. It's only for a moment and then I will know something...anything! I'm so tired of this. Mostly I'm tired of faking that I feel fine just so that my family won't worry. As soon as I get the results from the biopsy I will get to set up an appointment with the surgeon. I have to make the decision of having just the nodules removed or the entire thyroid. Today, I would ask to have my whole upper torso removed. Either way, it's a forever scar on my neck which makes the decision harder to make. I have my eyes set on a Hermes Scarf whatever the decision.
Not being able to talk is the worst for someone who never shuts up. I have this fear of this being the norm for me for the rest of my life. Thank God I know basic sign language like "I want ice cream" otherwise, I'm not sure how I would survive times such as these. Whatever the outcome, I know God is in control and that I like to eat Potato Soup. For those interested in anatomy, here is a diagram of what normal "neck insides" look like to someone who likes to draw for the use of Human A & P textbooks.
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